On Tuesday morning after 24 hours of heavy snowfall and gale force winds we awoke to the road to our house being completely blocked by a series of 6ft drifts. It was like a Mr Whipy ice cream van had gone on the rampage overnight with white banks, curls and folds of snow as far as the eye could see. I had to lift Sammie over one of the drifts and he disappeared into a dog shaped hole on the other side! He was not amused!

If it hadn’t been for our trusty builder moving in next door I think I would have been stuck there till if thawed in June! But luckily once the wind stopped filling the lane he came and dug us out from our icy barricade.

At least next time when I call work to say I am snowed in at least people will believe that I am not exaggerating!

When lunchtime came around we could resist the lure of the snow no more and descended on the deserted car park opposite the office. With 6″ of snow outside it was inevitable that grown adults were going to behave like children!

Mark² captured the scene in pictures marvellously – View a slideshow of his photos »

Building a snowman - It's man's work

Access / Stretford High School Partnership In Action

It’s an idea we dreamed up with our pr gurus Sian and Rachel at Cuban 8, following successfully reaching our 10 year milestone earlier this year – yes Access is 10 years old!

Please see our press release for full details on this initiative.

We fully intend to harness this relationship and do so responsibly over the coming years. We have already seen the extent to which is will be valuable to both organisations – we even used the school recently as a backdrop to a shoot for a client’s press campaign (but we can’t let you see it just yet)! We’ll keep you posted on this collaboration as it develops…

Meet Fred, the latest arrival at Access

Friend of Access Adam Murray-Brown dropped off this handsome fellow at the studio yesterday. Fred, who’s interests include rugby and sudoku, has kindly agreed to take part in a photo-shoot next week. He can look forward to being delicately entombed in papier mache as part of his duties. We look forward to seeing how he performs.

Tony was happy with his ball choice

Anyway…what a night!! I must say I haven’t seen so much attention locked on one sporting event since Lennox Lewis fought Mike Tyson. In a match that had been promoted as ‘Access: The Great Bowling Bonanza’, we just about witnessed everything there was to witness. Wouldn’t we have all been disappointed if it didn’t live up to the high expectations? It certainly had all the indications of a true classic beforehand…

• An ‘expensive’ foreign import – Mia
• Three seasoned professionals – Mark, Simon C and Tony
• A Cheeky Chappy from the West End – Simon
• A Leyland grafter returning from surgery – Micha
• A Wedding Planner – Kirstie
• A bowling rookie – Paul

And last but not least…

• An Old Man – John

…and a classic it was!!

Some last minute counting from Simon made him realise that there was in fact only 3 girls and 6 boys. Fortunately for the girls this meant that the much anticipated ‘battle of the sexes’ could not take place. Instead, everybody drew lots and the teams were made:

The Simple Simon’s: Simon, Mark2, KJB, Micha, Tony – LANE 6
Old Man and his Gang: Old Man, Mia, Simon C, Paulo Maldini – LANE 5

After changing into suitable bowling attire (dirty, soulless trainers for eight of us. Simon had a brand spanking new pair) the players were good to go:

GAME 1

After John and Kirstie had volunteered to enter their teams into the ‘state-of –the-art’ computer system, Simon ordered Mark to take down the drink orders. Before leaving to go off to the bar, Simon kicked off the proceedings with his first bowl. He swaggered up with his favoured green ball before launching it straight down the centre of the aisle. Time seemed to stand still for a second and I suddenly thought to myself ‘What the hell! He’s been practicing.’ The removal of all the pins was met by an echo of ‘ooooooooohhhhhhhh’.

‘Yay!!! Well done Simon!!’ everybody shouted and a muted applause was given. He trudged off almost embarrassed at the ease of which he had earnt the first strike of the game. He later admitted he hadn’t been to his Trafford Centre meeting hours earlier, but actually went to practice on the now infamous lane 6.

The match unsurprisingly started as a cagey affair. Nobody wanted to look like this was their first time. Unfortunately, most people made it painstakingly obvious it was! Simon C and Tony were just a couple of the competitors who threw their first attempts directly into the gutter. As everybody tried to find their feet, Mia was attracting glances on Lane 5. After an opening round of zero, she proceeded to hit three strikes in a row and was looking like the one to beat. Meanwhile old man had began appallingly and was getting frustrated. He just couldn’t get the hang of it the poor old reminiscer. He turned to me and said ‘all I want is one strike!’

Its Golden Turkey Time for Mia

Over on lane 6, Simon was achieving high scores. Whilst Micha, Tony and Mark had begun unimpressively, KJB was illustrating some outstanding technique and went onto claim her first strike. Like his dad, Tony couldn’t get going despite several verbal lessons from Simon:

‘You’ve got to stop pulling to the left’
‘Yeah I know’ Ball is sent straight into the left gutter.
‘Stop pulling it to the left!!’
‘I know!!’ Ball is sent into the right gutter.

After Mia’s lucky Golden Turkey, her form began to dip dramatically and Simon C and Paulo Maldini stepped up to the plate. Both began to run the show with a lovely array of strikes and spares. In between this I vaguely remember old man throwing another small fit after failing to knock down any pins.

Mark started to come into his own towards the end of the first round as he finally realised that flicking his wrist wasn’t working. He just couldn’t comprehend why real bowling was so different to the Wii. Micha had started to get the hang of it as well and was unlucky not to get a couple of Strikes. Tony was quite simply awful. He was obviously missing Mark1’s guidance which was so crucial to him being crowned ‘Top Cook’ in the Lakes last year.

Before we knew it we’d reached the end of our first game. The Simple Simon’s, despite struggling to move out of first gear had took the advantage. So what if we had 5 and they only had 4. We didn’t care!!! We won!!!

GAME 2

The second game couldn’t come soon enough for some of us. Old man was desperate to make amends and found some form culminating in a strike which was met by a punch in the air and a ‘YEEEEESSSSSS!!!’ Simon C was playing like a house on fire and Paulo Maldini was throwing his balls around with force and accuracy. Mia’s downturn in fortunes was confirmed by several zero’s on the scorecard.

Lane 6’s Pin picker-upper thing was working harder than the previous game with Micha continuing to find her feet. Any doubts over her knee were dispelled with a lovely strike. KJB was a model of consistency, opting for placement over power. And it was working. Simon continued to prove his worth with a couple of spares. Tony, despite mild improvement was still appalling and stood as the only player yet to deliver a strike. The big talking point was Mark’s dramatic improvement. The thought of the e-mails which he sent round the office two days prior obviously forced him into concentration. ‘Bring it on!’ he had said with a cocky smile*. Usually when somebody shows such sickening confidence and arrogance justice is served and they fall flat on their face. Not this time. Strike. Spare. Crash. Boom. Unstopppable!!!

The now legendary Mark 'the challenger' Holland in action

The Simple Simon’s were doing so well we even endorsed a bit of family time. Mrs Landi, Ms Landi1 and Ms Landi2 all made their way down from the VIP area to take a closer look at the action. It was like a party. All the pressure had seemingly vanished and we were loving it. Heck Simon even let Ms Landi2 have a go for him we were so far in front. The points were clocking up and the beer was flowing. It was brilliant.

Over on lane 5 Old Man and his Gang had finished. Simon C had ended with a flurry as he rolled back the years to when he played twice a week. He even did a little victory dance with his hands by his head and looked a bit like a reindeer. Mia had achieved a respectable score despite not getting another strike after her hat-trick. This led to questions of whether her Turkey was a fluke? The answer was quite emphatic. Yes. Big fluke. Paulo Maldini put in a cracking shift, going about his business without any fancy flair. Paulo, we salute you. Old man showed occasional glimpses of class but his form was far too erratic. He got his strike he wanted so well done. I’d stick to walking if I was you.

Simon C's reindeer dance is now being performed in the streets of Northwich

There was a tinge of hope as Old Man and his Gang waited for The Simple Simon’s to finish. Could the latter take their feet off the gas and throw away victory? Of course not! We were amazing! Tony even got himself a strike which I’ll try and describe from a totally objective and unbiased angle.

I took my position on the wide left, ran up, released the ball whilst on one knee towards the far right, and just before it hit the pins it curved back inside and hit the middle pin. They all fell down. The crowd went wild. There was an invasion on lane 6 and I was suddenly surrounded by dozens of half naked women spraying beer at me and chanting my name. I think it went something like that. Yeah that’s about right-honest!

So what were the scores? I don’t really know. All I know is The Simple Simon’s were brilliant. And we were the winners. Well done us. And now for the individual presentation:

1^st (as much as it pains me to say it) – Mark
2^nd – Simon
3^rd – Simon C
Best performing Female – KJB
Biggest Loser – Tony

Simon presents Mark with his $1,000,000 cheque

And that’s how it all went down!! Well done everybody, It was a great night!! Next time its crazy golf……

All the players who performed that night will go down in bowling folklore for years to come

Being the wrong side of 35 has puddled my brain I was still under the impression that the legs still ‘have it’. I’ve been out on two rides recently and they certainly haven’t – still, I’ve got exactly two months to get in shape (or less of an odd shape), get the legs working again, and acclimatise my derriere to the saddle.

The ride event, on Sunday 12th July, is in aid of Christie’s Hospital, and I’m trying to do a bit extra to raise some cash for the work they do.

So why not head over to my fundraising page a make whatever donation you can!

If you don’t I’ll put the lycra back on, and you really wouldn’t want that.

Early training

Frodsham Hill Climb Competition (late 80s-ish)

It was acceptable in the 80s... Nice Colnago - shame about the shirt.

Getting wet

If you’re looking for an island that offers beaches, a mountain, sunshine, seaside and scenery then maybe you should try the Isle of Man. That’s what we did last week when we went on location for our client The Steam Packet Company.

True to the British Winter-time however, we also got our fair share of mist, fog, wind and rain. That didn’t stop us though. There’s something about this island that makes braving the elements rather enjoyable.

A big shout out goes to our photographer Adam Murray-Brown, our very own action hero Keirron Tastagh and everyone at Access who let us borrow their suitcases, picnic baskets, wellies and box kites.

Both were too exhausted to comment other than to say he keeps asking for ‘more’ and he keeps bursting out in song – singing a wide range of Cockney tunes to warm your cockles.

Baby Oliver Hope

It’s been three years in the planning, six months in the deliberating, over 4,000 music tracks reviewed, sixteen table plans torn up and eleven venue endured Ruth’s meticulously planned plan (as only you clients would understand!), but Ruth & Graham finally tied the knot last weekend and a great time was had by all – as you can see. The Belle Epoque in Knutsford was a fitting location for the event, providing excellent food, service and backdrop for the entire day.

Love was certainly in the air as we mixed with staff from the the aforementioned and our rather larger rival, BJL – now you don’t often see that on a Saturday night in Knutsford!

They’re off on honeymoon now, so we get a (small) breathing space before the net big events at Access – our first baby, our first batch of eggs and talk about the next wedding!!!

Anyhow, best of luck to the happy couple (’you’ll need it Pal’ as John was heard telling Graham on one of his many fatherly chats) and get back to work soon!